where am i now?

Back from pregnancy

Doing it Scared

Inspired by my spiritual Mother. There’s many things I’ve faced in life but sharing my story was the hardest one. I never intended on stepping out from behind the door. Thinking I’ve got too many things to hide and cover up. As the years go by I keep on getting vulnerable, letting my guard down and exposing my life to others. I’ve Traveled to many cities and heard countless testimonies. while I’m not yet finished still a working product I welcome you into my works. It’s of imperfections. You may go through some unfinished blog post, some grammatical errors, and even some surprising facts about me. My only hope is that you would understand my story and be bold enough to share your own. I’m in the process. So as I’m scared as jacks to reveal this to you, here’s a look into my life as I journey with God.

We Had The Baby

Well ladies and maybe Gents, Im back from preggo land and getting back to life as usual. This time I have a whole other life to consider with baby Arrow. Nervous much? kinda. But honestly I look to God for peace. When we first left the hospital I was terrified. Just thinking in my head “Are y’all really going to let us leave this hospital with this baby?” I had no clue what to do. Its like playing the waiting game packed with anxiety and anxiousness. Other things that came across my mind was my body. and no I don’t want to hear “Tamika your being ridiculous, you just had a baby” yeah I get that part but I’m talking about how uncomfortable I felt. I felt like a deflated balloon with some aching parts. There were some things that changed that I wasn’t used to but I was prepared to face. Like lovely stretch marks no biggie but fascinating to see once my belly deflated. Let me be clear, I’m not beating myself up, I just noticed them and I’m still trying to figure out my feeling towards it. I’m in no rush to get the BOD back. Beleive me I just need to focus on keeping healthy. But if I could be transparent and honest here, it is something that came across my mind. I know I’m on a journey to recovery So here’s a look into what that looks like. I won’t wait until I’m “snatched” to share the truth about what it looks like after pushing a human being out of your body for 40 minutes. 🤣🤣

Meet Arrow 

how he’s evolved

“okay mommy, take a deep breath. I know time seems like its flying now that you’ve had him.” This is what I have to tell myself everyday. I wake up and I look at him in amazement, counting the days of his growth. Whenever he crosses a milestone I know i’m just one step closer to him growing up. “sheesh”

When he first got home I was worried about every little thing. If he coughed my eyes would begin to water. When he threw up I blamed myself for feeding him too much. Now I’m wondering do I have any more milk left with the way he just gulps down the milk. Soon enough I realized a lot of my concerns in the begin had everything to do with post pardom. I needed to give myself a break.

Where are we now? 

Still Married lol.

Look at this handsome guy. I couldn’t be a more proud wife. I feel so lucky to have him doing this journey with me. I remember telling him the other day “ I truly don’t know how single mothers do it alone.” but im grateful for him. This picture was taken on his 25th birthday. I catch myself looking back at older pictures every now and again and take notice the changes he’s made. I really get to see what Gods doing in his life first hand. But sometimes I forget as we just go day by day living. So when I look back I get reminded how far we’ve come in such a short period of time. My prayer is that we would be good to each other always and set a great example for Arrow. If I didn’t feel the need to put my marriage first then I would be worried about what Arrows future would be like.

The word for this month is:

Autumn leaves change and so do we.

We are walking and living by faith.